Why do people talk behind your back ?

Why do people  talk  behind your back  ?

How to deal with people talking about you behind your back?

How you would know ?

How do you respond to people who talk behind your back ?

There are many more questions comes to our mind on “ talking behind “

To the best of my knowledge I do not talk behind others, but see many others talk behind people for the reasons not known to me. I made a search first inwardly and I could not get an answer except that it is some people’s attitude , behavior , habit , nature and so on like generalized remarks.

It happens to us mostly  from  close relatives and friends !

May be the psychological experts give an answer without prejudice . I wish to explore on this topic and share so that the readers may correct themselves  and I too, if the weakness is within me unknowingly!

 Courtesy : An article from 2know myself ( website ) by Mr. M.Farouk Radwan, MSc , gives a reasonable explanation on the title .

“ Why do people talk about others?

Why do people talk about others in their absence?
Why would a person talk about his close friend in a bad way as soon as he leaves?
Why would a person talk about the bad way his friend is treating him in front of everyone but his friend?

After studying psychology for years I came to realize that 10 different people could be doing the same exact behavior for 10 different reasons.

We can never make conclusions about someone's intentions before we get to know more about his personality for it will be the reference we are going to use to interpret his behavior.

In this article i will tell you about the reasons people talk about others and tell you how to understand those people even more.

Reasons people talk about others

Don't make the mistake of judging a person without knowing more about his beliefs, values and past experiences. If you know the person well then most likely you will be able to pick up the correct reason that is motivating him to talk about others from the ones below:

• 1) Jealousy: People talk about others when they feel jealous. A person who feels jealous will try to put the one he is talking about down so that he feels good about himself. If the person has really bad intentions then he will talk about the person he is jealous of in a bad way that makes others hate him
• 2) Inferiority: People talk about others in a bad way in their absence in order to appear better than them. If a person feels inferior to someone then he might talk about him in a bad way in order to appear superior to him in front of others
• 3) Lack of courage: Some people hate to confront others directly and as a result they prefer to talk about them in their absence after they do something bad to them rather then face them directly. If a person talks in a bad way about someone all the time because he did something bad to him then know that he lacks courage.
• 4) He Likes the person he is talking about: One of the signs that shows that a person is interested in someone else is talking about him a lot. In such a case the talk will be positive or at least his mood will be positive while talking about that person even if he was saying negative things.
• 5) Weakness: People talk about others in a bad way in their absence when they believe that they can't get their rights back from them. If a large muscular person punched you in the face then you kept talking about him in his absence then know that you are doing so because you believe that you can't knock him down and that you are trying to release this energy of revenge by talking about him

Talking about others is a sign of weakness

As you can see in most cases people who talk about others are the ones who are in the weak position.

Gossiping or talking about others in a bad way in their absence is most cases a sign that shows that you have a certain personal flaw.

If you found yourself gossiping then you must find out the reason behind it and then work on fixing the personal flaw that resulted in this bad habit.

On the other hand if you knew that someone was talking about you in your absence then just send him this article. “

If still people continues to do so even after knowing the reasons , we have to avoid them permanently !

Follow Gandhian Policy and Principles ...

Gandhi Jayanthi Celebrations / International Day of Non-violence 2013

Gandhi Jayanthi Celebrations  / International Day of Non-violence 2013

We all celebrate Gandhi Jayanthi  in India. But how significantly we do it is important. It is a declared holiday for all institutions , establishments and government offices. Taking this as a chance to increase the TRP , all the TV channels compete each other by telecasting popular movies , music programs , dance and of course few  channel with some debate with stalwart peoples in that line. So nobody goes out of their house and stick to their  sofa or chair , totally relaxed with TV remote in their hands, which often changes hands for a quick viewing of scrolling other channels programs. Someone who likes non-vegetarian foods, it is a chance to sit and have  their favorite NV food at home, as throughout the week they would have had  pure vegetarian food at office. This is the way many celebrate Gandhi jayanthi.

But many non-government organizations , philanthropists , social organizations celebrate Gandhi jayanthi by conducting, prayer meetings , symposium , workshop on Gandhian values  and so on. Leave alone the politicians who garland Gandhi statue by visiting nearest statue with a group of their party men  and flew off in minutes! We respect them as we only elected them.

I found a rare specimen , a personality , who devoted his entire life from his college days  to till date and continues with full  enthusiasm  for the past 40 plus years. He is none other than Dr.S.Kulandaisamy. He is the Secretary of Gandhi Peace Foundation  Madras  and Dr.C.Shenbagavalli , Joint Secretary  jointly spreading Mahatma’s messages , principles and philosophy , in their own way , so that it reaches the younger generation , whom are going to be our future leaders.  It is difficult to bring it in a nut shell , all the services of Dr.Kulandaisamy because it is a forty years true story. Unless we meet him in person and talk with him, then only we can understand fully.

I am so lucky to meet Dr.SK few years back  on a Gandhi  jayanthi day and I could recollect my old time association with him , about 40 years back . We were  student participants under a same banner – Madras Students Gandhi forum . Our mentor was Mr.V.R.Radhakrishnan,  a freedom fighter, a close associate of Mr.Jayaprakash Narayan, Tamra Patra awardee.  I wrote about him in my earlier blogs but wish to write again because of the respect I still give to that great person.

My last year’s blog on Gandhi jayanthi celebrations of Gandhi Peace Foundation can be viewed by clicking the link below : http://chander-memorylane.blogspot.in/2012/10/a-special-day-at-gandhi-peace.html

This year the celebration was in a different way by inviting  people who still practice the Gandhian values in their life and  they shared their experiences to the audience , mostly young college students from Stella Maris , Bharati Womens ,  SIET college  for women and SRM Vivekananda , Christian  colleges for men.

Prayer by Bharathi Women’s College atarted by 10 am followed by Dr.KS’s  welcome address.

The following persons spoke on “Gandhian Values “ in different perspective.

Dr.K.Ramasamy, Central Institute of Classical Tamil, Chennai,  gave the presidential address .



Dr.K.Ramasamy



Dr.P.Krishnamurthi



Dr.A.Thirunavukkarasu



Sri.R.Poornachandran



Dr.M.Sriramachandran





Mr.K.Nageshwara rao



Book release by Dr.S.Muthukumaran

Dr.S.Kulandaisamy -Welcome address




A senior citizen,by profession a doctor sharing her early days in village service



Dr.C.Shenbagavalli



“Gandhian Values for Man –making Education” was addressed by Dr.P.Krishnamurthi, Asst. Proffesor, Vinayag College of Education, Chennai.Mr.M.Sriramachandran talked on Gandhian Values for Religious Harmony.

Dr.A.Thirunavukkarasu , Principal , Cholan College of Education, strongly put his point on “ Gandhian values for Sarvodaya – Economics”.

“Gandhian Values for Decentralized governance “ topic was well spoken by Sri.R.Poornachandran, Principal, V.G.N. Matriculation Hr.Sec.School, Arakonam.

Ms.V.Ragamai , of Dot Net Developer, Rajahmundry  stressed the “Gandhian Values  for Youth Empowerment”

Simple concluding remarks was given by Mr.K.Nageshwara  Rao, Dean ( Academics ) , Narayana E-Tecno Schools Bangalore.

Book release of a tiny book titled “ Sikkal Theervu Kalai “  written by Dr.KS was  gracefully released by Dr.S.Muthukumaran, Former  Vice Chancellor, Bhartidasan university and received by an NSS volunteer of Stella Maris College, Ms.Shanthini. She was an award winner for her best role in NSS activities last year  in her college.

Ms.Padma Venkataraman (daughter of our past President Mr.R.Venkatarama), Director, Leprosy Rehabilitation Project released a book “ Enakkul Amaidhiyai theduven “   being a part of the Bharathi Women’s College students intern activities at Gandhi Peace Foundation.

A senior citizen , who accompanied her daughter , volunteered to  attend this function  and shred her experience  during her service as a doctor in villages .

Dr.C.Shenbagavalli shared a few words to close the ceremony by a vote of thanks.

The three hour program went off well on time with Gandhian punctuality  and a  lunch was served to all the  august gathering.

I am eagerly waiting for the next year Gandhi jayanthi, so that I too will plan and participate with Dr.KS to celebrate in a big way, with more participants, more program to create the awareness on Gandhian values among  our family , friends  and public.

In the mean time I would like to inform that GPF is now looking for creating a Corpus Fund for their activity and anyone who is ready to contribute for this noble cause may please contact me for directions to GPF.

Before closing I wish to share one more news on October 2^nd  and it’s importance. Today is the birthday of our late Prime Minister , Sri Lal Bahadur Shastri and memorial day  of Late Chief Minister of Tamilnadu , Sri K.Kamaraj.

The International Day of Non-Violence is observed on 2 October, the birthday of Mahatma Gandhi.
On 15 June 2007 the United Nations General Assembly voted to establish 2 October as the International Day of Non-Violence. The resolution by the General Assembly asks all members of the UN system to commemorate 2 October in "an appropriate manner and disseminate the message of non-violence, including through education and public awareness."

“Non-Violence,” a sculpture by Karl Fredrik Reutersward, sits permanently outside UN Headquarters in New York.

2 October 2013 – Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon today called on people all over the world to have the courage to turn their backs on violence and stand up for peace and justice, marking the International Day of Non-Violence.

“I call on global citizens everywhere to be inspired by the courage of people like Mahatma Gandhi. Turn your back to division and hatred; stand up for what is right and just. Work with your fellow women and men for a world of lasting justice, peace and prosperity for all,” Mr. Ban said in his message for the Day.

Let us not be cruel to animals. Killing animals is also a violence. Let us practice vegetarianism  as God has created  animals to live in nature and not as a food for us. Be truthful to all, live a simple life, let us not be violent  on anyone.  Respect our own and other religions.  At last let us “ Be The Change What We Wish To See in Others “