International Women’s Day – 8th March,2013
I wrote many blogs to cherish the past. A person close to me asked me “ Why not you write about your good wife , who sacrificed her entire life to your family ? ‘ . At that time , when I approached my wife on writing about her , but she told me not to do for reasons not explained. But the whole world is celebrating Women’s day on March 8th, every year and I felt that this time I have to write on two women in my life, with excuses.
"Intellectually, mentally, and spiritually, woman is equivalent to a male and she can participate in every activity." Gandhiji.
For everyone their mother is the first woman they come to know , who shows love and affection unlimited, during their childhood and their grandmother , who tells moral stories . Next comes their siblings, later when they become adolescent a girl friend and after marriage their wife. And of course later many relationship and friendship brings many women in each man’s adult life.
My Mother : She was born in the year 1933 as a ninth child to my grandparents and got married at the age of 14 ,on August 21st,1947 ,to my father , who was 22 at that time. Their wedding was held at my dad’s parental home in Mylapore. Our family was big and she could adjust herself to work as a good housewife . The house itself was very big and maintaining it from the front entrance to the back yard measuring 80 feet X 30 feet is not an easy task. My father often goes on tours on official duty and she brought us , three children , born at the interval of two years from 1950. My sister was eldest ( a twin but lost one ) , I am the second and my brother was the last. Bringing up by putting in a good school, taking care of all our needs to the minute details of stitching school bags , new books , monitoring our education and welfare apart from taking care of other family members ,never felt by her as a great ot tough task. She handled all well and later gave birth to two other siblings to us , a brother in 1966 and a sister in 1969. Of course we three grownups took care of them.
Cooking with wood and coal , hot water making in Copper boilers, using all conventional grinders were part of every household women in those days , where there was no gas stove. Later kerosene wick stove came as a substitute. Though my father bought an electric heater, it was very expensive to use and only used for hot water at times. Our backyard used to be cleaned once in a while by her and the special cooking for festivals and guests, who often visits us, enjoyed by her without any reluctance. We were a middle class group and education was costly for us. But my mother supported my father fully to ensure us a good education up to university , though we studied fully on loan. The greatness is my dad cleared all his debts after his retirement. They were very happy in framing the graduation photo of all the five of us in a single frame.
She was known as a diabetic patient in her old age and with some heart ailment also. She stayed with me till her last and my wife did her best to my mother .After my father’s demise, she wanted to live in the same old house and later decided to sell away the property based on our request to ensure that all the five children are getting equal share and each one owns a property.
Memory of our mother lasts forever and we do recall often the good things she did to us.
My Wife : She came into our family on 21st April 1978 as a first daughter-in-law to my parents at the age of 21. She was brought up by a strict disciplined father in her from her childhood till she got married. She has two brothers and a sister. They were living in Thiruvottiyur, a place we call North Madras . As we are from South Madras, by ignorance we think people from North Madras are not much educated and cultured. But that is not true and we realized it once our family got connected to a family in North madras, that is my in-law’s place.
When she entered our house through an arranged marriage , as she is closely related to us from my mother’s side, she saw a different life style of ours. The freedom of talking to parents , more friends, value for education , food habits , often presence of relatives and friends made her to think , how to adjust to the big family of , father and mother-in-law , three unmarried siblings of mine , my unmarried elderly uncle ( father’s elder brother ) . But her mental strength made her to take the challenge to live up to the satisfaction of all. She is not as enterprising as me . The complex of being a non-graduate , increased her aspiration to become a graduate , and waiting for an opportunity to continue education in way without disturbing the day to day affairs. I came to her rescue and supported her to join a correspondence course in Bachelor of Arts ,once my elder daughter goes to school . But to everyone’s surprise she finished her Post Graduation after my son was born, with the guidance of her Chitti ( mother’s sister ) . One by one my siblings got married and she was a leading lady in our family to look after my diabetic and heart patient parents. As she fully know the value of education, her aim to give a good education to my children got fulfilled. Entire need of my kids were handled by her alone and I took care only their entertainment , partly for education guidelines. Both of them love her very much.
Slowly she could learn to go to bank, purchases and all my personal work like paying telephone bills, electricity bills, provision purchases and so on. Though very few difference in our tastes, nothing stood before us in meeting the needs of each other. Her dress sense and selection for others are admired among our friends and relatives. My children used to wear whatever she picks for them even today and for me too.
When she was nearing 40 , she got the full freedom to teach in a tutorial center in the neighborhood at Mylapore. Her qualification helped her to teach school children. After we have moved from Mylapore to Mogappair, she got an opportunity through my sister to be a teacher for physically challenged children at Guild of Service, Annanagar.
For the past twelve years she teaches the young challenged kids and got a certificate of merit and appreciation to the service rendered from Lion’s Club. She is a good art teacher also and her students always comes with prizes in all the competitions participated . A due recognition is there for her in the school.
She become a mother-in-law in the year 2005 , when my daughter got married and lucky to have a very good son-in-law, who inspired us spiritually , who understood completely her sacrifice to our family and shows high regards to her always. Again she becomes a mother-law in 2012 , when my son got married. My daughter-in- law is a best friend for her and they both share many of their likings. My daughter-in-law is another daughter for us . So now we have two sons and two daughters and all of them love my wife very much . We are leading a simple and happy life by the blessings of Sri Krishna and all well wishers . I can add many more to share the happiness of having such a wonderful person in my life .
The other women I do respect in my family and would like to wish them a Happy Women’s Day are --
My daughter who showed us a right spiritual path and supports her husband in US in spreading Krishna Consciousness ;
My two courageous sisters with great will power supporting their families in all walks of life;
My sister-in-law( immediate brother’s wife) in India, who is an enterprising , most affectionate , friendly , innovative and socialite;
My sister-in-law(last brother’s wife) living abroad , who is a caring mother of two and a supporting wife , not compromising Indian culture though lives in US;
My daughter-in-law , a soft spoken, smart, caring the physically challenged kids , affectionate towards all and treating us as parents.
In Modern Indian society women are playing stellar role, even challenging the males in Politics. More importantly their role in family building, society development is stupendous. Indian woman is emerging out of their conventional role, realizing their unlimited potential and have begun to take major role in all walks of life.
No comments:
Post a Comment